Even Flowers Have Pride
by Ayame Aoyama
Summary: Lily hates Severus. Severus begs for Lily's forgiveness while joining the Death Eaters. James is maturing. Read as the drama unfolds. I'd like to thank Jessieflower from HEX for rping this with me.
1. Prologue

-1_I don't get you. _

_I can't forget what you have forgotten_

_All alone._

_I've never been so alone._

_I was pretending._

_Your secret kiss of confidence_

_My escape_

_The perfect game to play_

_Don't cry out_

_Cease Fire_

Severus Snape. He was my friend. The first one I had ever made in the wizarding world. He taught me spells an gave me tips for potions. He helped me excel. He would steal my books and return them with notes written on the side. I probably wouldn't have done so well if not for him.

In the summer we would hide in the park reading our books and practicing wand movements. He was always picked on. Probably because he would act stand offish. But nobody ever took the time to understand. They didn't know about his mum or his dad. They didn't know about the bruises or the yells. All they knew was that he acted better than them. Not in the way that Potter did. But Severus had this unfortunate talent of sounding arrogant. It had to do with his dry intonation. He never used that tone with me though. He was always nice and interested.

I believe he was my first love. But they are called first for a reason. You learn a lot about yourself…and the other person. At Hogwarts we would hide in the library talking and sharing our thoughts. He would always walk me back to the tower at night. One night when I turned to give him my usual hug, after studying, he kissed me. It was awkward and blissful. My lips slid against his slightly as he caught me off guard. I remember my eyes grew wide as my heart raced. His hands held my shoulders firmly, keeping me from falling. I remember closing my eyes and letting myself drift into the kiss. A cough interrupted the moment as Remus walked by us and went through the portrait hole. I'm ashamed to admit how embarrassed I was to be caught. I was slightly ashamed of Severus.

He didn't look handsome, but his intelligence and kindness were what made him attractive. He showed a side to me that he refused to show anyone else. I hated the side that he showed the school. It was so cold and careless. The utter opposite of the Severus that I knew.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he called me a "mud blood." He had started to change towards me a bit before. Like he was ashamed of me. He kept blowing off our study dates to be with Avery and other Death Eaters.

He broke my heart that day. In front of the school. Remus was the only one who knew. After that day even Remus would pull pranks on Severus. And now as I pack for this next term I dread seeing him. I have only seen him as he walks by my house. He looks up at my window and stands for a moment before he turns and walks back home. He's done this everyday for the entire summer. He sent me two owls at the beginning but I sent them back. I didn't even open the scroll. One owl wouldn't leave until I took the scroll and gave a response. I didn't read it. The only reply he got were ashes in a baggy.

I can't really find a way to forgive him. I feel so betrayed. I feel dirty for ever kissing him. I can't even look at him. Every time I see him I feel ashamed an embarrassed. How dare he. How dare he! How DARE he! I cant stand this. I can't stand him.


	2. You're head boy?

-1Chapter One

"Bye Mum. Bye Dad. Tell 'Tunia…erm…just tell her I love her okay." A young girl with vibrant red hair was enveloped into a hug by an older woman whose hair looked similar only dull with age.

"I love you sweetie. Have fun at school and try not to burn your eyebrows again." The older woman chuckled and waved as her daughter disappeared into a platform barrier.

James Potter, known trouble maker and prankster extraordinaire strutted down the platform, Sirius Black in tow. In certain ways James had changed over the summer, for one his muscles had become more toned, being able to play vigorous quidditch with Sirius. However, he still had that slight problem with his ego – the problem being that it was too big to fit on the planet.

"Now Padfoot, remember this is the last year I have to get with Evans." He said dreamily as he imagined her perfect features in front of his face. Her luscious red hair, her sparkling emerald eyes, her cute button nose and her small dimples. In every way, she was gorgeous.

James had tried almost everything to be with her, and he mentally ticked off the tactics in his mind. Being popular - failed. Being good at sport - failed. Being an arrogant idiot – failed. Being annoying – failed. Being smart – failed. He even tried ignoring her, which also coincidentally failed. But this year he had a new approach, one he hadn't used before. He was going to bring things down, treat her with respect, show her he had feelings, basically this year he was going to grow up.

He stepped onto the train, quickly finding the usual Marauder compartment, and stored his trunk in the holder. Turning to Sirius he said happily, "Come on, Moony'll probably be outside." And with that he strode back out of the compartment and onto the platform. He spotted Remus and made a beeline straight for him. "Hey Moony, we got the usual compartment-" He started, but let his sentence trail off as he saw the company Remus was keeping. 

"Hey Evans" He said, without helping himself, his hand jumping to his hair. She had most defiantly grown over the summer. Her figure was fuller, curvier and her hair had become sleek and long, the curls cascading down her back gently.

Lily gave a small smile towards James, "Hi, Potter. Good summer? You too Sirius?" She asked in mild politeness. She also blamed James for Severus swearing at her. James just always had to embarrassed Snape. The poor guy could never get a break. Lily could only barely let herself talk to him. In her heart, he was almost as bad.

"Great." Sirius said only to notice that Lily had only asked out of politeness. James didn't even bother replying. Remus smiled at his two best mates. It was their last year to see each other everyday. Their last year to pull pranks.

"So, Remus…you're head boy I assume." Lily stated, not asking, as she pinned on her head girl badge.

"Er, actually I'm still only prefect. So no." Lily looked at him confused.

"Then who is head boy?" 

James glanced at Sirius, not too sure how to tell Lily he was head boy. Should he boast as he would usually do? Or should he act mature about it?

"No Evans, actually, as shocked as I was, I got head boy." He said meekly, pulling the small badge out of his pocket and showing it to her in the palm of his hand. Sirius saw the look or shock and horror on Lily's face and laughed a little.

"Yeah, when James showed me I thought there must have been a mistake or something - well either that or Dumbledore was drunk when he assigned the Head boy position!" He joked, nudging James in the ribs. James glared at him, but turned back to Lily.

"So erm...yeah." He said, "I guess we'll be working together this year." He finished, positively jumping with joy on the inside, but keeping this from appearing on his face, which was serious and friendly. Lily had an incredibly hard time hiding her disappointment.

"Oh...erm...that's good." She said trying to smile. All she could think about was how she was stuck with him all year. And what's worse was the fact that they would love in the head dorms. Remus smiled at James trying to tell him that he could prove her disappointment wrong.

"Well, at least you get a cool room and your own bathroom." Remus said cheerfully. Though his face fell as he noticed Severus. He could not forget how that scum bag hurt Lily. She was nothing but kind to him. Remus figured she may have even loved him...considering he did see them kissing. But Severus had a habit of ruining what's good in his life. Remus didn't realize that he was glaring.

Lily looked at him confused and followed his gaze only to star directly at Severus. Her heart raced like that of a scared rabbit. He now terrified her for some reason. She hated real conflict. She didn't mind yelling at James, but when she was hurt...she became scared. Her green eyes grew wide and her breath caught in her throat. 

James felt his heart literally drop as the disappointed look crossed over Lily's face. He nodded bleakly at Remus' words, although not really absorbing them. "Look Lil- er Evans, I promise this year isn't going to be as bad as you think, I've got big plans for Hogwarts." Sirius burst into a fit of laughter and James elbowed him in the ribs.

"I mean GOOD big plans for Hogwarts." He said, turning his gaze back to Lily, who to his surprise, was looking in the opposite direction. He peered over her shoulder and noticed Severus sitting in the compartment near them.

"Snivellus." He muttered darkly under his breath. Sirius stopped laughing abruptly and turned to look at James. He followed his eye line and also came to rest upon Snape. He cracked his knuckles with a sly grin.

"As you said Prongsie, this year is going to be THE BEST!" He said as he watched Snape's hair fall limply in his eyes.


	3. We need to talk

-1Chapter 2

Severus Snape took a deep breath as he said goodbye to his abusive parents for the last time. He would never have to return there anymore, never have to feel their wrath lash out upon his skin. He would never have to cover the bruises with his pitiful excuse for clothing. "Well…bye." He said, thankful to be in a crowded area, for he knew he was safe.

Neither parent said anything, and Snape simply revolved on the spot, and walked straight through the barrier. This kind of lifestyle didn't affect him anymore, if anything it was the only life he had known. It seemed he was just destined to be an outcast loner for the rest of his life. But there had been a ray of sunshine in the thundercloud that was the life of Severus Snape. A single ray of sunshine. One person that brought him comfort, joy and relief beyond anything he could have ever thought. Lily Evans. But he had managed to mess that up last year, calling her that sick name. He was no worse then the pathetic parents who brought him up.

But one thing that differed him from his father, he at least tried to make it better. He tried for months to apologize to Lily, sometimes she was too stubborn for her own good. How he missed her, how he missed talking to her, seeing her entire face light up when she would see him. Oh yes, Severus had been in love with Lily for a very long time – in fact, he didn't remember a time when he wasn't. She was his angel, a ray of hope. He cursed himself to hell and back for screwing that up.

As he walked with his usual slouch, he didn't notice all the people greeting each other, hugging after long summers apart, or weeping parents, proud of their children. It surprised him that he even belonged to this world.

He dragged his trunk onto the train and found a nice deserted compartment. He shoved his trunk roughly in the holder and sat down with his potions book, reading through his miniature writing and making alterations here and there.

Severus roughly closed his potions book, his long pale fingers tracing over the old, frail cover, the spine practically ripped. He sighed deeply. He never got new books or clothes, just one of the many reasons he hated his parents.

'Where are Avery and Mulciber?' He thought to himself, looking at the compartment door. Now he didn't have Lily anymore, he had to make do with his fellow Slytherins as friends. They had accepted him simply due to the fact that he was cleverer then the majority of them.

He rolled his black eyes, turning his head to stare out of the window, where his eyelids expanded as he saw Lily, Remus, Sirius and Potter all staring at him. As his eyes rolled over Potter's face his pupils narrowed dangerously. Of course he blamed them for him and Lily falling out.

He turned away, not wanting to be under Lily's piercing gaze and longer.

---

"Um...Evans you OK?" Said James as he noticed Lily's look of horror. 

Lily shook her head as if waking herself up, "Yeah James I fine." She looked down and already felt like crying. Remus decided to change the subject quickly and get them all on the train.  
"Hey! I have some honeydukes in my trunk if you'd like some Lily." Lily smiled at Remus. He always knew how to make her feel better...and chocolate was definitely the way.  
"Thanks Remus! Oh, I read a new book this summer. It was about how eastern wizards can perform spells from far away through meditation." The two instantly fell into a conversation as they boarded the train about books and theories

James simply stood there for a while with Sirius in complete silence. "Ummm, mate what was up with her?" Asked Sirius, thinking James was wondering the exact same thing.

James however, turned to Sirius with a broad grin on his face. "Did you hear that Padfoot?" He said, his voice leaking with excitement. "She called me James!" He finished happily, grabbing Sirius and wrenching him onto the train.

They followed Lily and Remus into the compartment and James sat opposite Lily, beaming at her. 

Lily's hair stood at the back of her neck, "Erm...did you need anything, Jam-Potter?" Remus was busily reaching into his trunk for the chocolate. He broke off some pieces and handed them out to everyone.

James quickly averted his gaze from her as Remus offered him some chocolate. "Thanks Moony mate!" He said, turning back to Lily. "No, I didn't need anything." He said, flicking his eyes to look out of the window.

Sirius beamed at Remus. "Mate, seriously, you solve everything with chocolate!" He said with a grin, happily taking the slab of chocolate and wolfing it down.

The train blew it's whistle loudly and mothers gave their last tearful hugs. With a jolt the train started slowly forward and gathered speed.  
"I suppose we better get the head compartment so we can meet with the prefects. Remus don't forget to meet us around noon for instructions." She said with a smile and left without waiting for James. 

James sighed as Lily left the compartment. "What is it with her?" He asked Sirius, running a hand through his hair absently.

Sirius shrugged, "Dunno mate, maybe she's just touchy at the moment. Maybe its her time of the month."

James regarded Sirius with an air of disgust for a moment. "Ew, Sirius that's sick." He said, shaking his head as he exited the compartment. 

Remus looked at Sirius, "Do you have to say everything that comes to mind?"

Sirius languidly yawned, and brought his feet up to rest on the seat. "Moony Moony Moony..." He said, "You should know me well enough by now to know I have to express myself...and what I'm thinking." He said with a charming smile.

---

Severus' eyes grew wide as the train jolted off, 'Where on earth were his friends?'

He stood up, sliding open the compartment door and almost walked bang into Lily. "Lily!" He said quickly, his heart constricting nastily in his chest, the usual sensation of not being able to breath forming over him. "Look...Lily...I need to talk to you!" He said in his usual drawl. 

Lily froze and her fists clenched as she braced herself. Her heart was once again sending an adrenaline rush as she grew timid and afraid. She scolded herself mentally for being such a prat.  
Not finding away to escape or avoid the situation, she sighed.  
"What do you want, Snape?" Her voice was cold, yet restricted. She sounded like she was about to cry and she prayed that he didn't notice.

Severus blinked, his face pale and hollow. He seriously hadn't expected her to give him the time of day. "Just five minutes, please, I...I want to explain something." He said, gesturing to the compartment. 

Lily wasn't too keen on being alone with Severus. She looked rather apprehensively at the compartment.

--- 

James continued to stroll down the corridor. His head was full of ways to impress Lily. Maybe a Christmas ball. Maybe he just had to be polite and friendly to her. STOP BEING A JERK. Were some of the thoughts that dwelled at the front of his mind.

--- 

"Erm...why can't you just talk to me here?" Lily looked down at the floor meekly. Her voice was small and different from her normal brave self. At this moment she felt anything but a Gryffindor. She felt small and broken.

Severus frowned, 'Because here isn't private enough for what I've got to say' he thought. He was just in the process of re-wording this so it didn't sound bad, when Potter walked briskly up to them.

James frowned, "Hey...Lily aren't we supposed to be in the prefects compartment now?" He asked, throwing Snape a filthy look. Lily sighed in relief. At least James was good for some things.

"Yeah..." She turned and headed towards the compartment without saying anything further. She was hoping James wouldn't notice her shaking so she held her hands in fists even tighter. Her throat felt tight and she willed herself not to breakdown in front of James. She didn't like him, but she couldn't imagine what he would think about her if he knew that she had once, maybe even still, loved Severus. That she had even kissed him, held his hand, and been held by him. She hated herself for being ashamed and she hated Severus for making her feel this way. If he had never said that to her...never hurt her in front of the entire school she wouldn't be feeling this way now.

James threw Snape yet another filthy look as Lily walked away, and grinned as he walked after her, giving Snape a mocking wave good bye.

He continued to follow her until they reached the prefects compartment. "Whoa Lily, watch out!" He said as she almost crushed his foot. "Wouldn't be a good start to the year with a broken foot now would it?" He asked rhetorically.

She was so caught up in trying to keep herself together she didn't notice James was right behind her and almost slammed the door on his toe.

"Oh, Sorry James…" She muttered and sat down. On a table in the Head compartment there were two books addressed to them. Lily opened hers and began reading instructions. The book shook lightly in her hands. Snatching up his own book and sighing as he opened the cover - reading had never been his thing.

He sat down, leaning against the window and began to read.

_'Instruct prefects...blah blah blah...Help first years...blah blah blah...patrol train...blah blah blah...give out passwords...blah blah blah...live in heads dorm...blah blah blah...patrol three times a week..blah blah blah...organize ball...blah blah - Wait...WHAT?'_ He thought as he read the line again.

_This year we are hoping to organize a Christmas ball. As tradition, this is only available to students above third year. The head boy and girl are to set an example and partner each other, swell as organizing the event in question._

He grinned. This was just too perfect. He looked up at Lily. "So Lily, looking forward to Christmas?" He asked casually. 

_What could he possibly have to say? What more is there to be said. He's called me a mudblood and basically dumped me in front of the entire school. Yet he has the nerve to ask for five minutes ALONE in a compartment?_ Lily was so caught up in her own thoughts she didn't hear James, only her name. She looked at him daze.

"I'm sorry...what did you need James?" In truth she wasn't actually reading the book, she just didn't want James to think that she was available for conversation so she could think.

James frowned, she seemed to be taking this all too well - that was, unless she hadn't read it of course. "Are you even reading the book?" He asked with his eyebrows raised. "I said are you looking forward to Christmas? But I'm sure I'll be answered when you read the book and scream." He added, a sad expression glazing his face as he leaned further back into the seat. 

Lily looked at James puzzled and actually looked at the book. She read the section that said she would have to go to the ball with James. She looked up at him.  
"We have to go to the ball...together..." She was too drained to get very upset. She just sorta sunk into the seat and sighed.  
"I give up." 

James looked at her with a worried expression plaguing his features. This was not the reaction he had been expecting. He had expected her to stomp about, moan, maybe even scream. But this shocked him. "Lily." He said, moving to her and placing a confident hand on her shoulder. "Look what's up? You just seem so defeated. I've never seen you like this - almost as if your not living. You're usually so fiery and alive!" He said truthfully. 

Lily looked at James and tried to smile.  
"I...I'm fine really. It's nothing really, I just...no. I'm fine." She seemed to argue with herself. She couldn't bear the thought of confiding in Potter. She also couldn't stand the thought of him knowing _why_ she was upset. She smiled, somewhat sadly, trying to reassure him that she was fine. 

James cocked an eyebrow. "No really Lily, I can tell something's up. Look you don't have to tell me anything - God knows you probably wouldn't anyway - but if you did, you know I wouldn't tell anyone. I just don't like seeing you like this, that's all." He said truthfully. 

"Erm...thanks. I guess." She said standing.  
"I guess we should talk to the prefects." She said dreading the fact that Severus was a prefect. She notice that there was a small crowd forming outside the compartment as people muttered about the rumors of James being Head boy.


	4. A Prefect Meeting

-1Chapter 3

Remus looked at his watch, it was about 5 until noon.  
"Hello, dears anything from the trolley." The kind witch asked. Remus politely asked for a pumpkin pasty and ate it quietly. 

Sirius hungrily stood up as the trolley lady arrived. "Sirius!" She said, recognizing him. "Maureen!" He replied, eyeing the trolley. "Got anything new?"

"Yeah, we've got droobles best blowing gum now!" She replied, indicating the gum. Sirius grinned.

"I'll take it all, then." He said, digging in his pocket for money.

"All the blowing gum dear?" The trolley lady replied after a moment of hesitation.

"No...the entire trolley." Sirius replied, stuffing the money into her hand and wheeling the trolley into the compartment. He sat back down, pulling a cauldron cake off the middle shelf, and ate it messily. "Dig in Moony!" He said happily. 

Remus just stared at Sirius as he bought the entire trolley.  
"I have to go to a prefect meeting, but I'll take a bag full to Lily and James if you'd like." Remus chuckled as he saw Sirius. 

Sirius gave Remus the best puppy dog eyes he could muster, which had been perfected after years of trying. "But Moony...you can't leave me here...all alone..." He said in a whimpering tone, his voice quavering." 

Remus rolled his eyes, "Bye Sirius. I'll be back before you can say Snivellus in Japanese." He smirked and left.

Sirius frowned and opened his mouth to reply to Remus when he realized he couldn't speak Japanese. A string of Japanese-sounding, but probably not Japanese words escaped his lips, before he began to comfort eat. He hated being alone, the silence, nobody paying attention to him. 

"I'm singing on my own, Just singing on my own., what a glorious feeling, I'm bored again." He said loudly, staring out the window. 

Remus laughed and wondered how long it would take for Sirius to realize that Snivilus was a made up word so it would be the same in Japanese or any language for that matter.  
He made his way up towards the compartment where he saw the other prefects gather. He walked past Snape and stomped on his toe as he went across the corridor closer to the door.

_James cocked an eyebrow. "No really Lily, I can tell something's up. Look you don't have to tell me anything - God knows you probably wouldn't anyway - but if you did, you know I wouldn't tell anyone. I just don't like seeing you like this, that's all." He said truthfully.  
_

_"Erm...thanks. I guess." She said standing.  
"I guess we should talk to the prefects." She said dreading the fact that Severus was a prefect. She notice that there was a small crowd forming outside the compartment as people muttered about the rumors of James being Head boy._

James nodded and stood up, sliding the door open and wordlessly let the prefects in.

When they had all sat down, he took a seat next to Lily and cleared his voice. "Right, congratulations for becoming prefects. As I'm sure you all know I'm James Potter, and this is Lily Evans. We will be your head boy and girl this year. Now this year is going to be busy. We've got a Christmas ball and such, which means every one of you will need to be involved, and inform your houses of what's going on, therefore you'll need to constantly check the prefects notice boards."

"You will patrol once a week, so please put your name down on a suitable day once you receive your timetable, any problems about that should be brought straight to Lily or I. Prefect meetings will be every two weeks, led by myself and Lily, and you may bring up any issues or problems during that time. Obviously you cannot abuse your powers, or I will tell Dumbledore to demote you." He continued, glaring at Snape. "Finally, today you have to guide the first years to Hagrid, and to the common room, give them the password, which I will give to you in a second and patrol the train a couple of times. Any questions?" He asked, handing out the house passwords. 

Lily was impressed with how he took charge of the meeting. She also handed out information. When she handed something to Snape she would just look away.

She went back and stood by James side trying hard not to notice Snape.  
"Okay, if there is nothing else, please patrol the corridors and report anything major to us straight away. Also remember you are to be examples so please try to show a little house unity with each other." She looked at James.  
"I think that's all." She paused waiting for any response. 

James waited, but nobody raised any questions. "Well then I suppose you're all free to go." He said, as the prefects began to get up and leave noisily. He turned to Lily with a small smile. "Feeling any better?" He asked.

Lily smiled, "Yeah, thanks." Remus walked up to them and handed a bag full of sweets to each of them.  
"Sirius bought the entire trolley so here you go." He responded to Lily' dumbfounded look.  
"Oh, thanks a lot." She turned to James.  
"I'm going to do a quick patrol to make sure everything is going as it should and make sure first years know to change into their robes." She said as she fished out a caldron cake and began to walk down the corridor.  
"Mate, has Lily said anything to you, because she seems off." Remus said sighing as he watched her retreating figure. 

James watched her go sadly, before turning to Remus. "No, I dunno what's wrong with her, but I'm really worried. Moony, she doesn't seem herself - she used to be so fiery, so alive, you know? What happened?" He asked, flopping into a chair miserably. 

Remus seriously debated about telling him what he knew.  
"I believe it has a lot to do with Snape. You know how they used to act like friends but ever since he called her a mudblood she just stays away from him." That was about as much as he could say. 

James nodded meekly. "The stupid git...how could he ever hurt Lily like that? How could he ever call her a..a.." He shook his head. "I'm not even going to repeat it." He said angrily, standing up and glaring at the compartment door as though it were Snape. 

Remus sighed and sat down, "I dunno mate, but I think it was partly our fault. I mean if we hadn't bothered Snape she never would have yelled at us and he never would have called her that. Maybe that's why she gets so mad at you and Sirius." 

James nodded at his words. It was so true. "Yeah Moony I know. And you know I'd do anything to change that day - just to see her happy." He sighed deeply and collapsed back in the seat, resting his head in his hands and closing his eyes. "Even if she was with Snape. As long as she was happy. It kills me to see her like this, it really does!" 

"Me too, mate. Look I'll talk to her, because no offence but we do have a history of friendship. Maybe she'll feel better if she just lets out what she's feeling. You know I bet she hasn't talked to anyone about feeling upset."

James nodded, "Well, I told her she could tell me anything, but I doubt she would...simply because it's me, and she hates me." He said, "And yeah Moony, just cheer her up ok?" 

"I don't think she hates you mate...but yeah I'll go talk to her now."   
Remus left and began to walk along the corridor.


	5. I hate you!

-1Chapter 4

Lily walked down the corridor and introduced herself to some first years. The train seemed to be in good order. There seemed to be no trouble so she turned and began her path back to the head's compartment.

Severus walked scowling back to his compartment. His toe throbbing from where Lupin had trodden on it. "Stupid half-breed!" He muttered angrily. He slid the door open roughly and entered his empty compartment, picking up his book and chucking it against the window. 

He sat down, channeling the hateful emotions out of his body. "Why did Potter have to come in and ruin everything? I could have spoken to Lily!" He muttered, closing his eyes and leaning back in his seat.

He heard excited chatter outside and opened one eye lazily, seeing a group of first years practically barricading the corridor. He grinned evilly down at his prefects badge and stood up, smoothing out his robes.

He opened the door, "If I were you, I would move before I give you a detention before you even see Hogwarts!" He drawled, then stopped as he saw Lily approaching, smiling with some first years. "Lily!" He said, his voice back to normal. "Do you mind if I have that word now?" He asked.

Lily looked at Snape and figured it might be better to get this done now rather than later. She smiled at the first years.  
"Don't block the corridor and don't forget to change into your robes. Okay?" The first years filtered back into their compartments.  
Lily looked at Snape, "Yeah...I guess.." She sighed and walked into the compartment.  
Pivoting on spot, Lily looked at him.   
"Okay...you have my attention." 

Severus widened his eyes, before turning around to look at her. He gently slid the door closed. "Look Lily...I just...I...don't know where to start really." He said meekly. "I know you hate me. And I'm not trying to change you mind. I was an idiot, a stupid fool. You didn't deserve that name, nobody does. I just...got really angry, and I find it so hard to control my anger. I just want to apologize, a serious apology, for hurting you, it's never what I wanted. If there's anything I could change it would be that, and I'm just so sorry. Lily...I love you, I really do, and I can't bare to see you miserable, so just tell me what I can do to make you happy, I'd do anything. Anything." He said seriously, his voice quivering slightly. 

Lily began shaking. "You love me?" She asked bitterly, but it was rhetorical.  
"You love me!? So when someone you love; tries to help you, you swear at them and degrade them in front of everyone? Severus how dare you! How bloody dare you! You are so full of shit!! Severus you know full well that you've changed. You are friends with death eaters. And I am the only bloody muggleborn you have EVER liked. You think the rest are stupid. You don't bloody love me. You never did." She never yelled, but the venom that dripped from her voice was worse. Her eyes were narrow and full of anger. She could not believe the nerve of him.  
"Now step aside so I can leave." She said because she didn't want to push him like a child to reach the door. 

Snape didn't move. "And how would you know how I feel? Do you have any idea what it's like not being able to fit in? Have Potter humiliate you everyday. Have Potter fancy the girl you love. It's no wonder I'm so spiteful." He spat, anger rising in his cheeks - why didn't she just understand. "And yes, I have changed, but so have you. You're not the same girl I knew, the one who believed everyone was equal, the one who would forgive and give everyone a second chance if they were sorry. Well Lily, I'm more sorry then I've ever been before, but where is my forgiveness? Nowhere. This isn't all my fault, at least I tried to apologize, tired to make things right. But I suppose if you hate me that much, then why don't you run off to Potter." He said, a little more loudly then he had intended as he stepped aside. 

Lily's look didn't soften. She walked as if she were about to leave and then she turn and looked him square in the eye.  
"Don't you ever talk to me like that. I have always taken your side over Potters. I was just standing up for you. And my thanks? You call me dirty blood. I do believe everyone is equal. I still think you have value, but _you_ broke up with _me_." Tears started to burn in her eyes as anger and emotion overcame her. She was so close to him she could smell him. And even though he was always teased for looking greasy he always smelled nice. He actually washed daily, but his hair was just stubborn.  
"And don't think I've forgiven Potter! We are just working together." She had risen her voice at this part.

Remus walked down the corridor and heard Snape yelling. He then heard Lily's response. No one was in the corridor so it appeared that they were safe from eavesdroppers...save him, of course. He decided to wait, wand drawn, in case something happened.

Severus glared at her, "That's what you say now. But I can already tell your thoughts are changing." He looked into her eyes steadily. He had already began learning oculomancy and could already tell that her thoughts towards Potter were changing.

Color began to rise in Lily's cheeks as she told herself he was wrong. "What do you know about anything?"

"You've already begun to fall for him. Before long you'll just give yourself to him like some wench." He spat as he noticed her blush, practically confirming what he could gleam. But before he could watch her react to the statement his head was spun to the side as a smack resounded through the air. His cheek begun to throb and he faced the red head whom he loved, yet hated at this moment. She held her hand and tears swelled in his eyes.

"Go to hell." She spat and left. Severus sat there a moment as tears began to swell in his eyes. He sank down into the seat and wiped them away bitterly.


End file.
